mikumikuar心疼中提琴的理由有以下这么多……-EastmanStrings

2018年07月10日 | tags | views 44
心疼中提琴的理由有以下这么多……-EastmanStrings


弦乐里当大提琴和小提琴在互相争锋鄙视时,中提琴默默擦眼泪哭晕在厕所!大家都嘲笑中提琴的音域和音色泗水人才网,嘲笑就算了,弦乐界里还有好多拿中提琴做梗的笑话:
How do you keep your violin from getting stolen? (怎么防止你的小提琴被偷窃?) Put it in a viola case. (把它放进中提琴的箱子里)
What's the difference between a violin and a viola楚笑笑 ?(小提琴和中提琴之间有什么不同?)
1.The viola burns longer. (中提琴烧得更久)
2.The viola holds more beer. (中提琴能摆更多啤酒在上面)
3.You can tune the violin. (你可以给小提琴调音)

We all know that a viola is better than a violin because it burns longer. But why does it burn longer伊芙利特之祭 ? (我们都知道中提琴比小提琴好因为它能烧的更久,但是为什么它能烧得更久?)It's usually still in the case. (中提琴通常都还在箱子里)
What's the difference between a viola and an onion? (中提琴和洋葱之间有什么不同?)No one cries when you cut up a viola. (中提琴被切断时没人会哭)
How can you tell when a violist is playing out of tune张墨丰? (要怎么才能知道一个中提琴手走调了?)The bow is moving. (当琴弓在动时) 【一出声就是走调……】

Why don't violists play hide and seek? (为什么中提琴手们不玩捉迷藏?)Because no one will look for them. (因为没人会去找他们)
How do you get a violin to sound like a viola? (怎么让一把小提琴听起来像中提琴?)Sit in the back and don't play. (坐在后面然后不要出声)Play in the low register with a lot of wrong notes. (随便乱拉一些走调的低音)
What is the range of a Viola段国诚? (中提琴的音域范围是怎样的?)As far as you can kick it. (只要是你能踢到它的范围就好)

If you're lost in the desert,吴必胜 what do you aim for? A good viola player, a bad viola player or an oasis? (如果你在沙漠里迷路了鬼道子 ,你要找到什么? 一个好的中提琴手,一个坏的中提琴手,还是一片绿洲?)The bad viola player. The other two are only figments of your imagination. (坏的中提琴手冯喆朱珠。另外两个只存在你的幻想里)
Why can't you hear a viola on a digital recording? (为什么音乐录音里听不到中提琴的声音?)
Recording technology has reached such an advanced level of development that all extraneous noise is eliminated. (录音技术已经发达到可以把所有不必要的噪音都剔除了)
How do you get a dozen violists to play in tune? (怎么让12个中提琴手拉对音准?)1. Shoot 11 of them. (射杀掉11个)2. Shoot all of them. (把他们全射杀掉)3. Who the hell wants a dozen violists梁玉媚 ? (谁他妈会想要12个中提琴手?)

作为一个中提琴手,我们跟老师抱怨每次曲子都是伴奏,人家大提琴虽然是万年伴奏但是好歹也是有自己独立的部分,中提琴不是跟小提琴混,就是跟大提琴混,好不容易独奏,一拉,妈周乐年 啊,!自己都被那音色吓了一跳。
我们的两个老师,一个是大提琴手一个是小提琴手。mikumikuar看我们可怜王筱翠 ,安慰我们说,中提琴是弦乐队里最重要的了,说大提琴和小提琴就是汉堡包的上下两片面包,中提琴就是中间的肉紫眸修罗 ,没有肉,就没法把两块面包连接起来了。
哈哈哈哈哈哈……谁他妈会信雷正富 !
(来自知乎 侵删)

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